This is my act of reconnecting myself to how I want to go through life. Most often rebalancing means leaving the concrete of the city and escaping to a place where I remember how small I actually am. Nature immediately reminds me of how epic this world is and how miniscule my problems or my life is in the big scheme of things. Surrounding myself in a landscape that took millions of years to form, puts my life into perspective.
I found myself in this environment this weekend. However I’m one day back into my daily working routine and I feel no lasting effects. Pictures on facebook don’t do it justice, but I’ve already forgotten the feeling of simply enjoying the surroundings. I’m also coming to the conclusion that I’m surrounding myself with people who don’t view life the same way I do. The people I latched onto when I had spent a lonely first year in Denver have shown that they aren’t to be trusted and don’t value a strong, respectful friendship. Coming to this conclusion has me valuing the friendships I do trust even more, even over great distances.
I guess I still am feeling leftover anguish over past events. For now it seems like it won’t ever go away. They say time heals, but a quick reminder every so often hits me like a ton of bricks and requires months of building back what I thought I had just gained. I keep saying it’s a learning experience. I keep saying I wouldn’t be what I am today without that experience. Which is true. But I haven’t moved past it. I feel I can’t move past it.