I should have written a happy post in the post-run glow of Oct. 9th. However that has worn off and I’m back to feeling like I’m waiting for something. Needing something else to focus my attention on. Maybe I use this to avoid thinking about other issues, but this is how I feel I get through every day. I need something that keeps me motivated daily and focused on some end goal. Now that half marathons have become a scheduled part of my year, they don’t have the same impact. Unless I work really hard to improve my pace, it’s going to be about the same thing everytime I run now. So I’m antsy for something new to interest me, but to also push past this plateau I’ve hit.
I’ve had things not go exactly the way I expected in the past few weeks. Disappointed to say the least, it’s lead me to believe that I shouldn’t put effort into things that do not give anything back to me. Be it people or activities, I am just done. I’m feeling this third year in Denver is becoming more like the first year I was out here. Finding things to do on my own. Being fine with being alone. And just being true to what I want out of life. I am no longer worried about finding a job. I love the one I have. So now I’m focused on how to make this my home. How to find my place in Denver. How to find people who are healthy for me. This is going to be my struggle.
And I really need to go to the dentist. I think I have a cavity.